Beauty in Divorce

Beauty in Divorce

 

This project has been on my heart for a long time; to show the beauty in divorce.  I imagine you never thought you would hear those two words in the same sentence.

 

I have been divorced for over 2 years and I can tell you that my divorce was the most heartbreaking, difficult experience in my entire life; I would not wish divorce on anyone.  Till death do us part is what we all had in our head when we said I do.  God’s plan is never for us to tear apart our families.  But it happens.  And we do.

 

First and foremost, let me explain that I value marriage and I believe it is sacred.  We made a promise before God and that means something.  We need to do everything in our power to work on our marriages, to pray, to seek counseling, talk with our trusted families, friends, and pastors about how to work through our issues.  But friends, we all know that sometimes that is not enough.  And sometimes there are very good reasons to choose another path.

 

Sometimes parting ways is the healthiest decision you can make for your family.  And friends, sometimes there is beauty in divorce.

 

The beauty that I have seen and experienced as I have navigated through divorcehood with my girls is surprising.  However, a glass half full kind of girl, I have to see the beauty in divorce.

 

The beauty I see is kiddos learning the difference between a healthy relationship and a dysfunctional relationship.

 

As single moms, we are teaching our kiddos to set boundaries, because we did.

 

Our children are learning how to deal with conflict.

 

My hope is that our kiddos will also learn from our mistakes.  I hope they will take off their rose colored glasses from time to time to see red flags, listen to their intuition, and trust themselves. It’s okay to not always give the benefit of the doubt and to protect ourselves.

 

And I think we as moms have learned so much.

 

We have learned how to sit in the loneliness and be okay with it.

 

We have learned how to do better – to take this time to learn from our mistakes.

 

BOUNDARIES – need I say more?!!  Why is this not taught in school?

 

My kiddos and I have a closer relationship with God which has been an absolute blessing.  This, in my opinion, is the greatest gift I can give my children.

 

Learning that divorce is not a bad word.  It describes US, and our CHILDREN, and I will say the word again and again and again so my girls know that it is NOT a bad word and was the BEST decision for our family.  Soon after we moved out and separated, my daughter came home from school crying because a classmate overheard her telling another child that her parents were getting divorced.  The classmate told my daughter not to say that word – because divorce was a bad word.  Oh.my.heart.  It broke my heart to hear this and to see my daughter feeling this pain.

 

If it wasn’t for my divorce, I would not have met these beautiful women in these portraits.  We have laughed, cried, complained, and vented together.  But mostly we have laughed.  We have supported one another through one of the most difficult life changes one can experience.  I love these women.  They help me to feel heard and normal because they have experienced the same hurts.  All of our stories are different, friends, but divorce brought us all together.  And that has been a beautiful gift.

 

Even though divorce sucks with a capital S – and yes, it is not a nice word but I can’t think of anything else to describe it – I would not change a thing.  I would marry the same person again, go through all the heartache and pain again.  Why?  Because my ex husband gave me the gift of my two loves, my beautiful daughters.  And through it all I have learned. I have learned from reading book after book after book to figure out how and why this happened.   I see a counselor who has helped me navigate through it all.  I am a better, wiser mom for my children.  There is beauty in that, friends.

 

I wanted to capture these portraits to show the beauty in these families – these families who are broken.  (Although aren’t we all whether married or divorced?)  And I want our children to know that divorce is not a bad word.  They – and their families – are beautiful.

 

We are all beautifully broken and I am here to show that there is love, joy, laughter, hope and beauty in divorce.  From pain, hurt and sadness can come beauty if you allow it.

 

To all of you, friends, YOU deserve to be in a loving relationship where you are loved, respected, and cherished.  THIS is God’s plan for you.  Whether you are divorced, married, single, or widowed, this is my hope for all of you.

 

If you have gone through a difficult divorce, I hope you find the beauty in where you are, friend.

 

There is beauty in divorce divorce divorce.  (I will say it again and again until it is not seen as a bad word)